"The wound is the place where the Light enters you."
Today, I feel called to share a message that someone might need to hear, especially on this 9/9 portal, where themes of healing the mother wound and reconnecting with the inner child come through powerfully.
And this is a very profound process for many to acknowledge at this time as the energy of this portal opens up pathways for profound transformation, offering opportunities for quantum leaps in our healing journey.
At this time, with energy vibration of the opening of the 9/9 portal, there’s a powerful energy available to help us make these shifts. The number 9 represents completion, and today, as this portal opens, we are being invited to complete old cycles and step into new ones.
This portal offers us a chance to release the mother wound, heal our inner child, and take quantum leaps toward wholeness. We are supported energetically to dissolve messy relationship dynamics and patterns that no longer serve us.
I had a very deep sleep, but I woke up with a heavy heart, tears streaming down my face. In my dream, I found myself asking my mother "why?" - a question that seemed to carry the weight of years of pain and confusion. I can't remember much else from the dream, but the feeling of deep sadness lingers, as if my soul was desperately seeking an answer, some explanation for the ache I've carried for so long. So I did what I do best and started to write hoping to put into words what seems to want to come forth.
This feeling is familiar - an internal wound that never quite heals, no matter how hard I try. It's the pain of never feeling good enough, of always being compared to others, judged, criticized, and disbelieved. It’s a pain that roots itself in childhood, in the early stages of development when a child's sense of self-worth is so fragile. When you're met with constant criticism or emotional neglect, it starts to feel like your very existence isn't enough.
In childhood, this can be detrimental. These formative years are when children develop their foundational sense of security, belonging, and self-worth. When the environment is filled with judgment, rejection, or unmet emotional needs, it leaves scars that run deep, shaping the way you see yourself and interact with the world.
You learn to internalize these feelings, believing that the problem lies within you, rather than understanding it as a reflection of the brokenness around you.
As adults, these early wounds tend to resurface. They show up in our relationships, in our careers, and in the way we talk to ourselves. The constant striving to be better, to do more, to finally prove that you're worthy of love, approval, and acceptance. But the echoes of that childhood pain remain, whispering that no matter how much you do, it will never be enough.
This sadness, the deep ache in my heart, feels like a call to finally confront these feelings, to understand that this pain is not mine to carry anymore. It’s a reminder that healing doesn't come from trying to meet impossible standards, but from learning to love and accept yourself in all your imperfection.
I would like to make it clear that I deeply love and honour my earthly mother.
I fully acknowledge that the family I was born into is the one I chose, understanding that the specific dynamics and challenges presented were necessary for my soul's growth.
No matter how difficult or "imperfect" the situation may seem on the surface, I know these experiences have been essential for shaping who I am today.
This belief aligns with Rudolf Steiner's teachings, which state that the soul consciously chooses to incarnate into specific circumstances to gain the right lessons and opportunities for growth.
According to Steiner, the challenges we face in life, especially within family dynamics, are not random but are carefully selected by the soul as a way to evolve and fulfil its purpose. These experiences, no matter how painful, are part of the greater spiritual journey towards higher understanding and inner development.
In this light, I recognize the beauty and significance of every experience I've had, knowing it was all chosen for my highest good.
The mother wound is something many of us carry, even though it’s often left unspoken. In psychology, this refers to the attachment trauma that stems from our relationship with our mothers. Our primary connection with our mothers shapes our sense of self, security, and worth.
When that bond is fractured - whether through neglect, emotional unavailability, or a mother’s own unresolved trauma - we often carry deep wounds into adulthood, leaving us feeling abandoned, unworthy, or disconnected from our own emotions.
On an esoteric level, the mother wound represents a severing from the divine feminine, the nurturing, receptive energy that grounds us. It’s easy to dismiss or overlook the impact of this wound, but it often manifests in how we interact with the world - how we love, trust, and view ourselves.
The inner child, that vulnerable part of us shaped by early experiences, holds the imprints of these traumas. Often, childhood memories carry a vibration of pain that we unknowingly continue to resist and many times can go unacknowledged for the entire earthly life experience.
The path of non-resistance, surrender, and trust in Source was a fundamental part of my High Priestess journey training, a path that leads to deeper spiritual mastery and alignment with divine wisdom. This journey is not merely about acquiring knowledge or skills, but about fully embodying the sacred principles that connect one to the universal consciousness.
A path that often involves a long period of preparation, introspection, and spiritual refinement, especially during the time spent as a seer before formal initiation into MM sacred lineage and which is a ceaseless motion or a unceasing stream flow like state.
So I’d like to invite you to practise non-resistance and surrender. For when we stop fighting these emotions and instead allow them to surface, we begin to create an energetic foundation for healing. This doesn’t mean passive acceptance but rather an active opening to feel what is, without judgment or fear.
As we embrace the pain, we also open ourselves to a powerful healing force through alchemy & embodiment of healed feminine and masculine energies.
The embodiment of healed feminine and masculine energies is of most importance here. The feminine energy is about nurturing, receiving, and surrendering. The masculine energy gives structure, focus, and the power to take action.
When we harmonize these energies within, we create a foundation that supports the healing process. By focusing inward, instead of reacting to external triggers, we begin to act from a place of alignment and grounded wisdom.
As many on the path are aware, healing is not linear - it’s an act of gathering our resources, the symbols, integrating knowledge, and using the wisdom from our experiences to grow.
As we learn, we shift into being. It’s no longer about just knowing what needs to be done but embodying the truth of who we are, beyond the trauma. We step into a new version of ourselves that holds the lessons but isn’t defined by them.
I know that talking about family relationships, especially with our mothers, can be difficult. Society often idealizes the mother-child bond, but the reality is rarely perfect. We must honour the complexity and acknowledge the pain that may exist beneath the surface.
If this resonates with you today, know that you are not alone in this. There is immense power in the act of healing these wounds. And on this powerful day of the 99 portal, you have access to energies that can help you release, transform, and embody the higher frequencies of love and light that are waiting for you.
Trust in the process, and know that you are being held by the universe as you step into this next phase of healing and becoming.
Healing Protocol: Inner Work for the Inner Child and Mother Wound
This practical exercise for inner work is especially useful when dealing with emotional trauma like the mother wound or healing the inner child.
Cultivating Stillness - Find a quiet space where you can be uninterrupted for at least 15 minutes. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths.
Focus on the stillness within you, and allow yourself to become fully present. Steiner believed that stillness allows the soul to enter into a deeper relationship with the spiritual world, enabling us to access higher wisdom and healing energies.
Visualization of Inner Light - Imagine a soft, golden light surrounding your heart. Envision this light expanding and enveloping your entire body. This light represents the divine love and compassion that you are being offered for healing. As the light expands, allow it to penetrate any area of your body or mind where you feel resistance, pain, or tension. Feel the warmth of the light dissolving these blockages.
Dialogue with the Inner Child - After grounding yourself in the light, gently bring forth the image of your inner child. See them standing before you, vulnerable but open to healing. Begin a compassionate dialogue, asking them what they need to feel safe and loved. Listen deeply to what arises. Offer them reassurance, and visualize holding them in your arms, allowing the golden light to embrace both of you.
Repeat this process daily for 21 days, focusing on nurturing your inner child and releasing any emotional ties or unresolved trauma linked to the mother wound.
By using non-resistance and the practices of grounding, surrender, and self-compassion, you can create a powerful energetic foundation for healing the inner child and mother wound.
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